Where the Hell's My Coffee?

by Selvane Vladiva


<Area: camp among the coniferous trees, somewhere in Marraketh, or wherever the hell we are>

Selvane slowly opened one eye and surveyed the small shelter. It was morning. A small slit of sunlight drifted down through the smoke hole in the roof and landed squarely on his face. Aristalrus sat across the shelter, gazing quietly at him.

"Good morning, Mr. Vladiva. Sleep well?" she queried with mock cheerfulness. Selvane opened the other eye, slightly annoyed. He grunted slightly in recognition of Aris, and shifted to a sitting position.

"Any more problems?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I buried our unwelcome visitor about a hectometer yonder. Nothing else decided to drop in, so I finished my book," she shrugged.

*Read a book on watch? What is this woman thinking? Could get us all killed. And why is she toting a book anyway? Never understood these magical people. Never will,* He kept his thoughts to himself. While Aristalarus talked, Selvane pulled his pack closer to him, and immediately holstered his Gloc .45. After which, he pulled a few rations and a small pot out of his pack and began to cook a sparse breakfast of dehydrated protein meal on the glowing embers.

"I thought about it last night, and I couldn't figure out why that thing was warded. Bothers the hell out of me. It means someone could be out there, stalking us. It means that someone could be selling wards to every baddie out here. It could mean nothing at all. But I'd just like to know who- or what - that thing was!"

Selvane stirred the protein meal and shrugged, "Doesn't matter who it was. We're supposed to be watching our backs anyway," Aris seemed a little aggravated at Selvane's response, "Worrying about who might be out there isn't going to help. It doesn't change our situation. Just watch your back,' before she could respond, he arose, "I'll be back," he crawled out of the wigwam and stood in the early morning air. His breath curled before him in the pleasant manner of a crisp winter day. Light filtered down through the slowly swaying pines, leaving a million shadows dancing on the forest floor. He stopped and breathed in the cool air. It reminded him of home. He walked a few yards off into the forest and relieved himself, mindful to cover up the snow. Before he stepped back into the shelter, he took a short pull from a flask he kept in a breast pocket, "Home in a bottle," he muttered.

Evidently, his partner saw. When he re-entered the shelter she asked, "What was that you were drinking out there?"

Selvane sat and dug out his spoon, "Vodka," he answered simply. Aristalrus sighed in disgust.

"Gah!" she erupted, "Unprofessional. You can't get drunk on assignment, in the field. It's just plain stupid! Firefoot's fe'thra, last thing I need is a wasted Russian with a gun!" Selvane seemed a bit startled by her reply, and then gave her a wry smile.

"I could not get drunk if I wanted too. Not nearly enough vodka," Selvane returned to the protein meal, "Have you got a bowl?"

Aris simmered with frustration. She glowered at the slightly chuckling Russian, and dug out her bowl. "Look," she said, "If you wanna get plastered on your own time it's none of my concern. But we're in the field, here, and it's not just your tail riding on this, it's mine. So: nothing that can make you woozy, got it? I don't care how fast you process alcohol, I don't want to take the chance." she hissed.

Selvane shrugged, *Was this witch woman a born Boy Scout? Obviously never drank alcohol before. Ever. Best to placate her, and get on with life. I will miss the Smirhnoff, though,* he tossed her the flask, "Smihrnoff. Good Vodka," he pauses and lifted the pot, "Here's your's," he scrapped about half of the protein meal into her bowl. Aris unscrewed the cap of the flask and slowly poured the remaining liquor onto the glowing embers, where a quick blue flame leapt up for a moment, throwing a wave of heat throughout the shelter. She started at the flame.

"What proof was that?"

"190."

Breakfast was a hurried affair, the protein meal and carbohydrate bars being downed in 10 minutes, the dishes being done in two. Soon the fire was stamped out, and the shelter dissasembeled, the building materials tossed about the forest in a helter skelter manner. Snow was piled over the fire pit after it was well cooled to assure a measure of stealth. The tracks about the site were brushed out with a pine bough, and soon the two were in the middle of the glade again, where the night had started, sans 4 inches of snow.

"Okay, I think we should head for that city yonder," Aris indicated the blur that they had both seen last night to the west, "If it's not Rhye, we can at least get directions, and maybe find a road or something, transportation maybe." Selvane nodded, holstered his pack and headed to the south.

"There is a plain just to the south of here that looks as if it gives a relatively direct path to that city," he turned his eyes west, "It is... perhaps 35 kilometers [1] away. We should hurry. We don't know how long the daylight lasts here," and with that, the duo slogged off into the pines.

You've only got one finger left;
And it's pointing at the door;
And you take it for granted;
What the Lord's laid on the floor.

-Beck, Lord Only Knows


[1] Equivalent to 21 miles.