The Soviet Connection

by Selvane Vladiva

Frost clung still clung to the grass, even though it was near 11:00 AM. It was a cold day in the steppes of the Ukraine. The sun was bright, but the air cold. The light hardly penetrated the thick canopy of the pines. The ground floor was dark, and cold. The scent of pine was all about the place. Despite the conditions,it was peaceful - quite serene, in fact. Yet, still, the shadows moved. This was the place where Selvane Vladiva lived, worked and trained.

This day, Selvane was not about the woods, but atop his dwelling. Though it seemed a humble shack above ground, the 3 subterranean levels housed the many wonders of the famed woodsman and researcher. Oddly, this man with the affinity for the outdoors showed the greatest of genius for designing advanced vehicles.

What Selvane was doing atop his dwelling was repairing a shingle. For such a genius, such a simple repair daunted him. His hammer had busted itself on a titanium jet intake the day before. Before him was arranged a menagerie of strange tools, ranging from butane torches to plasma welding guns. The array glistened in the sun as Selvane's deep green eyes surveyed the assortment.

"Staple gun," he muttered to himself. "I just need a staple gun."

Instead, he grabbed a plasma torch in his big hands. His 6'5" frame easily supported its great weight; despite this, his scarred hands and arms flexed heavily under the burden. He flipped the welding helmet down with a flick of his wrist, and primed the torch. "This is gonna be fun," he muttered to himself. Selvane was constantly muttering to himself because no one lived within 400 miles of his small (?) abode.

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" The JihadLinker on his wrist beeped incessantly. Selvane looked down with dismay, and turned off the blowtorch.

"Oh bloody hell..." With a quick spring, he was off the roof, and running inside the cottage. The laptop was also beeping. He had assumed as much. He flicked up the screen of his JihadWorks[tm] laptop, which, being from the Jihad was equipped with the latest technology. 1GHz DEC Beta processor, 50 gigabyte crystalline matrix memory bed, 220kbps cellular modem - you know, the usual. Great for Red Alert games.

He tapped the keyboard (he disdained the optical navigation devices) and brought up an image of Nexxus Kline, in her usual style. Not exactly. He hair was a bit frizzy, and somewhat stressed out, but it was Nexx.

"What's up Ne..." Selvane was about to utter in his thick Slavic drawl. Unfortunately, he was cut off.

"Katze kidnapped! Another dimension! Come to HQ now!" The rapid succession of syllables assaulted Selvane, and then the screen blinked and went blank. All that was left of Nexxus Kline was a "Carrier Lost" message.

"Mission? Great..." Selvane muttered again. He slapped the laptop down and tossed it into a bag sitting on a table nearby. The bag was filled with an assortment of clothes, weapons, survival gear, and now, his laptop. Selvane vaulted into his room, stripped of his work clothes, and tossed a loose fitting black VRDET uniform over his muscular frame. He strapped a large machete to his side, next to a Glock .45 and headed back out into the front room. He grabbed the bag, zipped it, and headed for the kitchen.

Several of the refrigerator magnets tapped beneath his touch, and the fridge slid away, revealing a secret stairway. Selvane bounded down the stairway, grabbing a green parka on his way down. The dark tunnel led to a small chamber. The walls of the entire area were bright white, lit from some inner energy source. At the center of the circular chamber was a jet-black craft. The nose came back and diverged into two wide cylinders. The tail of each was a jet engine, the extent the wings. Breaching the center was the cockpit. With a slight whistle, the cockpit popped open, and a very peppy voice greeted him as he hopped into the seat, tossing his bag behind him. "Hello Selvane. How are you today?"

"Hello, Mal," Selvane greeted the computer, playfully named after the director of VRDET R&D, Malaclypse. "My day isn't going too well. How's yours?" Selvane prattled in his bad English as he started the launch sequence.

"I'm doing fine sitting here in storage, Selvane. My talents are wonderful just sitting in a dark room. Why don't we talk any more, Selvane?"

[Maybe it wasn't such a good idea programming Mal to be like my last girlfriend,] Selvane thought to himself.

"Launch bay doors open, Selvane. I hope you appreciate it."

"Thank you, Mal. I appreciate it very much. And I appreciate you," Selvane muttered. [I've really got to reprogram the AI for this thing,] he thought. [Maybe the techies at Blanca Mountain can take care of her.]

Up above the subterranean garage, three triangular pieces of sod had lifted up from the landscape of the steppes. Down the hole the sod left was the launch ramp of the "Michellina" - Selvane's favorite craft, of his own design. Below, in the white light, jets fired, and the Michellina took off from the ramp with a roar, clearing the ground with a great plume of fire. The sound of the jets rocked the calm of the valley for a moment, and then he was gone, a dot in the sky. Where there was once a hole in the ground, there was grass again. Singed, but the same.

Up above, Selvane continued to play games with the AI and wonder about the nature of the mission.

"The doors are closed, Selvane. Where are we going, dear?" Mal chirped.

"Could you set a course for Blanca Mountain, please?" Selvane muttered, as a he pored over the controls. The plane swerved, and the speed increased. The LED display showed an ETA of 25 minutes.

Selvane looked out upon the rapidly approaching peninsula of Spain, and relaxed for the first time in the last 15 minutes. Reaching into the glove box, he grabbed a can of Jolt and some Oreos, which he had stashed for just such an occasion. While he munched, Selvane punched up the communications protocol on the main console.

"Who are you calling, honey?" Selvane cringed as the computer called him "honey."

"Blanca Mountain. I'm seeing what the hell's going on," Selvane responded.

The Michellina jumped, jostling Selvane. "You know how I hate swearing! Don't swear!" Mal squealed.

[You know, I really liked that woman too much,] Selvane thought to himself. He continued to try to tap into Blanca Mountain, but strangely, all the lines were jammed with incoming and outgoing calls. This was odd, because Blanca had over 600 lines.

Suddenly a Comms officer appeared on the screen. "VRDET communications department. Use of this channel is restricted to authorized personnel only! State your identity," barked the Comms officer. Behind him could be seen a great ballyhoo of activity. Papers flying, people running around, and a general fit of chaos.

"Selvane Vladiva. What the hel...heck's up with this op, sergeant?" Selvane barked back. His Slavic accent and huge body usually intimidated people enough.

The sergeant looked at a monitor to his left, apparently satisfied himself that Selvane was who he said he was and turned to the camera again. "My apologies, Operative Vladiva. It's pretty hectic around here. Just needed ident confirmation." The sergeant paused for a second, punched some keys in front of him, and then turned back to the camera. "I'm transmitting the op briefing to you right now, but I'll give you the low down. Councillor Katze was kidnapped, and VRDET is mounting a rescue expedition. If I read this right, you're going. I'd get your butt over here quick. She's getting pretty impatient," the sergeant flashed a quick smile, and then the screen went blank. The words: "Thank you for calling! Have a nice day. - VRDET Communications Department" emblazoned themselves across the screen.

On another monitor, Selvane scanned the briefing. Nothing much else there that the sergeant hadn't told him. He was gonna be late, though. Michellina was fast, but not fast enough to satisfy Nexxus, no doubt.

"What's going on, deary?" asked Mal.

"Nothing, Mal." Selvane muttered as he sipped his Jolt, and watched the American shoreline slip past.

"Something's going on and I wanna know! You're hiding something from me, and I don't like it, Selvane Vladiva!" Mal screamed.

"Oi...uhm...Katze is having a birthday...and Nexxus is organizing a surprise party. You can hang out with the other AIs in the hangar bay," Selvane weaseled.

"Oh. Okay."

[That last girlfriend really was no good, was she?] Selvane questioned himself silently.

Soon, the Michellina began to dip, and Blanca Mountain came into view. The snowcaps of the mountain and the timberline upon it disguised the real purpose of VRDET HQ. Not many people knew that both of those structures were really fiberglass.

The Comms screen blinked to life, and a white message flashed across it: "You are in restricted air space. Transmit identity code now, turn around, or be destroyed. Have a nice day!"

"Gotta love those Comms guys..." Selvane muttered as he lazily punched in the ident transmission. The previous message was soon replaced by a green blinking message: "Disengage thrusters and prepare for gate."

"Oh cripes. I forgot about my tools!" Selvane quickly turned off the engines and held on. The hum of turbines dimmed, and the Michellina dropped, faster, faster, and faster. There was a blue flash, and the Michellina reappeared inside the hangar bay, on sublevel 4. The black craft was on a rotating disk supported by a curved arm. The arm was moving the disk to a shelf 40 feet of the ground. Selvane popped the cockpit, grabbed his bag, and bounded out of the plane, hitting the ground with perfect form. All around him, red lights were flashing, and a loud klaxon was sounding. "Looks like an emergency."

"Hey! Technician!" Selvane yelled over the klaxon to a blue uniformed mechanic across the bay. The tech recognized his uniform as an officer's and sprinted across the bay to the woodsman.

"Sir?" The tech replied between huffs.

"You have a job. It is to fix the Michellina. Fix the AI personality. Replace it with something more mundane, and then leave the craft in this bay. Clear?"

The techie nodded eagerly. Most of the techs in the avionics division had heard of Selvane and his escapades with the Michellina. He obviously wanted to get under the hood. Selvane tossed him the keys, and ran off toward the nearest turbo-lift.

As he approached the doors, they flung themselves open with a hiss. "Welcome to Blanca Mountain, Operative Selvane Vladiva. All operatives are ordered to mobilize for interdimensional transport immediately. This is your 3rd visit to VRDET HQ. If you need any assis..." the computerized voice would have continued with its cheery monologue if Selvane hadn't interjected.

"Where is Nexxus Kline, computer?" He asked.

"Councillor Nexxus Kline is currently on level 3 of the Blanca Mountain VRDET installation. This level houses transdimensional research, temporal mapp..." Selvane cut the computer off again.

"Take me there." The turbolift started with a slight shudder, and rocketed up. The turbolift ride was short. After about 40 seconds, the small car pulled up with a halt. The doors hissed open and Selvane looked down the long gray hall. There at the end there was a arched opening, and just beyond that there was a little huddle of people. Beyond them was a massive bay of equipment, the purpose of which Selvane dared not guess.

Selvane sprinted out of the turbolift and down the VERY long hall, past many doors, labs, and other mysterious passages.

After 2 minutes of good hard running, Selvane pulled up as he entered the arch. Nobody had noticed him and his bag. The space was enormous! Everywhere there were terminals and arrays of complex equipment. The ceiling vaulted 200 feet above him. The entire gray and matte black spectacle was amazing. All around the walls were panels of wires, coils and capacitors. To the side of the entrance was a bank of terminals and desks, where people ran about checking printouts. Everywhere there was chaos among the machines, blue clad techs running across the bay as sparks flew from wires and mysterious boxes. In the center of it all was a platform, surrounded by Tesla coils and antennae. All manner of emitters pointed at the very center of the platform.

After standing there with his jaw dropped for about 20 seconds, he heard a voice to his right. It was one of the people in the group.

"Hey! You! The lost-looking one! Suit up or get out! We don't have time for gawgling at the base." Selvane turned around and was met with the visage of Nexxus Kline. They had never before met in person. Around her were several others Selvane had never seen before.

"I assume you're Nexxus." Selvane was not used to being bossed around. After meeting a curt nod, Selvane approached his commander and offered his hand.

"My apologies for being late. I am Selvane Vladiva."