"Cathy I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why
Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike
They've all come to look for America"
The day had arrived. Calculus and Katze would be Chicago bound in a few hours. Katze bounced around a little as she cleared some paperwork off of her desk, stamping the pages with the well-used "DENIED" stamp. "Another one gone," *SLAM* "Another one gone," *SLAM* "Another one bites the dust!" *SLAM* It was just one of those days.
After the DENIED stamp lost its appeal, Katze glanced around her messy office. With a sigh of resignation, she decided that she would clean the office after she got back from Chicago. The Jihad and the Rangers had been pressing too harshly onto her mind again. It would be nice to take this vacation.
She tucked the DENIED stamp into her pocket and thought, [Speaking of Jihad responsibilities, I'd better call Shad, let him know that I won't exactly be in my office or anywhere else that he would know where I am.]
She picked up the phone and dialed a familiar extension number. Katze listened to the phone ring and sighed as nobody answered it. Ripping a piece of paper off of the Post-It note pad, she made a hastily scrawled note to call Shad as soon as she got back. She chewed on her pen for a second and added the note to clean her office. That done, Katze turned off the lights to the office, grabbed her bags, and headed for the motor pool.
The motor pool was well-lit. Why this thought was the first one to cross Katze's mind, she did not know. Of course, her mind had not been very cooperative these days. "Light, darkness, what's it matter, all I seek is the truth," she mumbled to herself.
She looked around at all the cars. There were all sorts of interesting ones, and if she'd ever been into cars, she might have recognized some of them. She weaved her way past a few strange vehicle designs to what looked to be a perfectly ordinary Mercury Villager. She blinked, wondering where Calculus was. He had said he would be meeting her here.
And he had been. Calc was in the front driver's seat making a few minor modifications to the dashboard. He looked up and waved. "You ready to go?" asked Katze.
"Phoe is supposed to be coming down."
"Ahh, I see. And I suppose you have a list of what he's supposed to do while we're away."
Calc pointed to an electronic pad sitting in the passenger's seat. "Yup. You need to put anything in the back?"
Katze nodded. Calc got out of the car and opened up the cargo area. "Here you go," he said helpfully.
"Oh gee, he's gentlemanly enough to open the trunk, but he can't put the bag in there," Katze said to nobody in particular as she lifted her Army-style garment bag and placed it next to Calc's suitcase.
Calc didn't say anything in response to this comment, preferring instead to look slightly embarrassed.
Katze swung her green duffel bag up on the cargo area next to the garment bag and decided to check if her notebook was in the duffel bag. As she was doing this, she thought of something. "Calc, did you get that Phoe is supposed to work on the routers?"
Calc grabbed the pad out of the front seat of the Villager and hit a few buttons on it. "Yup, supposed to at least get the number two router working."
Katze looked up on the stairwell to see Phoe coming down. "Speak of the devil," she grinned and then went back to the hunt for her notebook. "Phoe! Come to see us off?"
Phoe grinned as he came closer to the Villager. "Yeah, I suppose."
Calc, ever the pragmatist, punched a few more buttons on his console. "He's probably here to push us out the door." He glanced one last time at the datapad and handed it to Phoe. "But, before we go, here's the obligatory list of things for you to do."
Phoe took it and grinned some more. "Woo. Looks like I'm going to have fun being in charge."
Katze grinned at that remark. "Welcome to the world of running a department. But you can handle it. Otherwise we wouldn't be leaving it in your hands."
Phoe nodded. "Thanks. Besides, it was time for you to take a vacation anyway."
Katze looked off in the distance. "Yeah, I suppose..." Her voice trailed off as she remembered the dream. The only person who knew was Ari. Then why did she fear that the whole complex knew? [Stoppit, Katze, stoppit. Paranoia is gonna get you nowhere. Get ahold of yourself.]
Somehow she managed to get herself and her green duffel bag into the front passenger seat. Phoe looked to Calc. "Well, you guys better head out. Have fun in Chicago!" He turned, as if to walk back to the stairwell.
Calc hopped into the front seat of the Villager. He started the car up and rolled down the window. "And don't forget to work on the number two router!" he yelled over the engine. Phoe said something back, but Katze didn't catch it over the motor. Calc then sped out of the garage. Suddenly they were in bright sunlight. Katze blinked.
"Bach, Beethoven, or Tchaikovsky?" asked Calc. Katze grinned and chose the music of the Russian composer. Calc happily obliged by blasting the "1812 Overture" the way most kids blast their Metallica or Tool.
The two of them were so busy getting into the music that they didn't notice that a third person had joined them in the car. So it was a shock to Katze when a bag of Bic pens ended up in her lap. She turned to see Ari grinning like a maniac. "I didn't want you to be hungry on your journey, peneater," she said, with a huge grin.
Katze motioned for Calc to turn down the music and then looked at the bag of pens. Finally, she just shook her head and laughed. "Ari, what would I do without you?"
"I dunno, Katze. Now you have fun on vacation, and try not to worry too much. You're always..." Ari paused for a moment. "...worrying too much."
The unspoken thought passed between the two of them and Katze nodded. "I'll try. It's a bit hard not to worry, though."
Ari grinned. "It'll all be okay, Katze. You'll come back running down the hallways." She faded out with a huge grin on her face as Katze reached over the seat as if to swat her friend. Calc just shook his head and turned the volume back up.
Alamosa turned out to be a fairly sleepy town. Calc sped through as fast as he could and made the turn on Highway 160. The journey to Chicago was underway.
Katze stared out the window, glad that they had made the decision to drive and not to teleport. Calc was going at a fairly average speed, the scenery was pretty, and the drive would give her time to think - and maybe come to some conclusions.
She thought about what she had learned in the course of the past few weeks. Was it true that the Wyrm himself wanted her dead? She couldn't bring herself to believe it, but there wasn't any other conclusion to draw. Someone had set up that trap in the foyer of their apartment. She hadn't done it, so that only left one person - Josh. But that was impossible! She had known Josh since first grade. He'd never hurt...
The incidents of the past few weeks flooded into her head again. All evidence pointed to Josh lying about where he had come from. Which meant that Josh and her were both lying about their present. But Josh was lying about his past as well! It was frustrating.
But then again, she didn't even know who she was. Her world, her belief system, had gone topsy turvy, and she knew not how to fix it. [So you're running away from the problem?] she asked herself. It was a question she could not answer.
Perhaps it was best to shut her mind off for a while. She leaned back in her seat, checked the time, and closed her eyes. The darkness calmed her, and soon she was asleep.
The trip through Colorado and Nebraska passed uneventfully. Calc had almost managed to get himself arrested twice, but was somehow able to talk the officer out of it...or if that didn't work, somehow getting the officer to believe he was insane. (I mean, what would you do if you were writing some person a speeding ticket and he suddenly turned into a penguin? What would you do?)
Katze had woken up to see a Nebraska state police officer suddenly start stuttering. Then she realized what Calc had done and quickly whispered to him: [Stop it.]
[Stop what? He's the one that wanted to arrest me.]
[You could have escaped from jail.]
[I wanted to avoid being arrested in the first place. Now go back to sleep, or at least pretend.]
But it was too late for that. The officer had noticed that Katze had woken up. "Ma'am..." He gulped, trying to find the words. "Why are you letting the penguin drive the car?"
Katze smiled innocently. "Because he has his driver's license and I don't?"
The officer blinked at this response. "I'll pretend I didn't see you." He backed away from the car carefully. "Because nobody would believe me anyway."
They sat there on the side of the road, waiting for the police car to disappear into the horizon before going again. Calc changed back into his normal self and continued on his merry way.
It was about eight in the evening when the two travelers hit Des Moines. Calc suddenly thought of something. He swerved off I-80 at one of the exits and started driving northwest.
Half an hour later, they were still going northwest at a reckless pace. "Calc, where are we going?" said Katze.
Calc smiled. "Boone, Iowa. I've been dying to do a spork raid, and Nick said that if we're ever in the area and want to do a spork raid, we should come and get him."
At about 9:30 PM, Calc pulled into a parking lot. There were two buildings sitting next to the lot, and a few cars were parked there. Of course, Katze was able to tell exactly what these buildings were. One was a closed KFC (oh well, didn't want chicken anyway) and the other had HUGE lighted letters on the outside proclaiming this place to be "Godfather's Pizza." Calc grinned some more as he looked towards the building. "You hungry?"
"Not really, I munched on the sandwiches in the cooler on the back seat around the state line."
"Ahh, okay, then we can kidnap Nick and go."
Katze shrugged. "I guess, if you really want to do that."
The two of them got out of the car and walked across the parking lot, neither wanting to spoil the moment. Katze had only met Nick briefly when he had been inducted, and they'd only talked occasionally, usually when Katze was passing along orders for Ari. However, Ari did most of the talking with the Explorations crew, and that was Nick's department.
Calc pushed the door open, and walked in. Katze followed slightly behind. There wasn't much to see; it was your typical middle to high-end pizza joint. There was carpeting on part of the floor, and some nicely shined brass. Then, Katze suddenly realized why she was getting a feeling of deja vu. How many times had her friends and her headed downtown to the Godfather's pizza in Chico? Two thirds of a continent away, this thought comforted her.
Calc poked Katze, dragging her off memory lane. "We've got a job to do, in case you haven't forgotten."
Katze blinked. "Oh no, I hadn't forgotten...just got reminded of home." She glanced around the restaurant, taking in only a few people - a family in one of the booths with two kids squabbling over the last slice of pizza, a sedate old couple in a back booth looking like they were about to fall asleep over their pizza, a slightly balding young man at the cash register watching it print totals, and somebody filling up their cup at the soda machine. "Hmm...you think that's him at the soda machine?"
Calc looked. "Yup, I'd say that's him. Let's ambush him."
They walked towards the person at the soda machine. Calc was the first to speak. "Nick M., I presume?"
The person turned around. Katze noted that he was taller than she was, a rare thing. He wore glasses and had blond hair. Katze was pretty sure this was Nick, but the person said, "Uh?"
There was a moment of silence. Suddenly, the light of recognition clicked on. "You're Calculus, and you're Katze, from the Jihad," he said, pointing to each of them in turn.
Calc nodded and grinned. Katze extended a hand, and said, "Ayup, that be us. So what time do you get off?"
"Well..."
The conversation was interrupted by the man at the counter. "Nick, you need to get back to work."
Nick turned towards the guy at the counter. "Corey, I just got some guests in from out of town. Do you mind if I get off now?"
"You got everything done back there?"
Nick thought for a second. "Yep. Just gotta sweep and mop. Link can take care of that."
The manager nodded. "Okay, then, you're off at 9:30."
Calc started motioning at the door. "Where's the nearest Taco Bell?" he asked.
"Ames," Nick replied. "But I don't see how you're going to make it in time. I've gotta stop at home and change."
Calc grinned mysteriously. "Drive home fast and change. Katze and I will follow you. And then we'll go to Taco Bell, don't worry, we will make it on time."
Nick nodded. "All right, follow me home." He hopped into a Ford Escort. Calc and Katze got into the Villager and Calc started the motor. He then said, "Oh, Computer?"
"Yes, Calculus?"
"See that Escort? I want you not to lose it until I say so."
"Gotcha. Can I do anything else for you? I learned a lot of interesting things about African tree frogs."
"No, that won't be necessary. Thank you, Friend Computer."
"Okee dokey. Computer over and out."
They followed Nick home without incident. Calc released the computer from its program as Nick ran upstairs and switched clothes. He had put on a Spam[tm] shirt. He jumped into the back seat of the Villager, and then looked around. "Nice car."
Calc grinned. He then looked seriously at Nick. "Got your seat belt buckled?"
Nick looked confused. "Of course I..."
Calc started up the jet engine and the car took off into space. Nick blinked. Katze scowled at Calc. "That was real inconspicuous."
Calc just shrugged and grinned. "We gotta get to Ames on time...lemme brief you on what I want to do..."
It was just around closing time at the Ames Taco Bell when a van pulled up in front of the store. A short-statured man in a business suit got out of the car and walked into the restaurant. He pulled a badge out of his pocket and shouted, "Bomb Squad!"
Everybody looked up from their wonderful soft tacos and burrito supremes uncomprehendingly. A bomb in Taco Bell? Surely this had to be some sort of a joke. A low grumble started through the crowd, and Calc realized he was losing control. "Listen. I'm with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Bomb Division. If you don't believe me, then fine, you are entitled to stay here. But I don't guarantee your safety. We've gotten a few reports of exploding sporks, and I've been told to evacuate this place."
Out in the van, Katze whispered to Nick. "That's our cue. Let's go."
The two of them raced out of the van, white lab coats flopping every which way. They pushed through the crowd of people that had suddenly started stampeding out of the restaurant. "Bomb squad tech, bomb squad tech," they yelled out as they squeezed their way through the crowd.
Calculus looked up as the two of them entered the restaurant. "We're ready, Officer Barbrady. What do you want us to do?" asked Nick.
Calc shrugged a bit. "How about you go after the sporks in the storage room and Mary here will get the sporks out here...we're gonna have to bring them to a safe place."
Katze shot Calc a look. [Mary? Why in god's name did you pick Mary?]
[Only group I could think of was Peter, Paul, and Mary.]
Just then, another man pushed through the door. Calc looked up, a bit surprised. Even the Taco Bell employees had started running for their lives when he said "exploding sporks." So who was this guy?
Nick came out carrying a boxful of sporks. "What do you want me to do with these?" he asked.
Calc looked at the new man again and suddenly saw what he was carrying. [Katze?]
[Err, yeah?]
[He's got a bomb.]
Calc looked at Nick. "We're going now."
"Without the sporks?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Calc concentrated for a second. [Get outta here, Katze!] he thought as he yanked Nick out of the Taco Bell.
The two of them appeared inside the van. Nick looked up at Calc. "What the heck did you have to do that for?"
"He had a bomb."
"A REAL one? And where's Katze?"
"Yes...and she should be here." [Katze?]
Meanwhile, inside the restaurant, Katze looked at the man standing there. "Who are you?" she asked.
"At's for me to know and you to find out, ma'am." The bomb man made a wink. "But I know you've been siding with dem dirty Jihaddi, and I decided dat I'd come and teach y'all a lesson. But one will work."
Katze groaned, wishing she'd listened to Calc a little more closely. Maybe then she wouldn't find herself in this mess. "Okay, but why would you want to kill anybody?"
"Because, because...because Barney said so!"
Katze watched him regress into sponge minionism. [Oh great. What do I do now.] Then it hit her. "Can I see your bomb please?"
The minion scowled. "No! Barney said it's mine."
Katze tried to stay calm. "But Barney," she said, trying not to pronounce it in the Jihad way, "said to share."
The sponge minion nodded. "Barney wants me to share." He handed the bomb over. "I'm sharing my bom with you."
Katze erped. It was live and about ready to go off, there was almost zero friggen time on the bomb. [I have to get it out of here!]
She made the quick concentration of teleporting to a remote location, threw the bomb as hard as she could, and appeared back in the van. At the same time, residents of Saskatchewan, Alberta, and Montana reported a sudden bright dot in the sky that very quickly faded into the quiet summer sky.
Katze still had not mastered slowing down during the teleportation, and landed rather harshly on her feet in the van. The shock absorbers handled most of it, but Katze's ankles took a fairly harsh beating. She looked up from her seat on the van floor to Calc's scowling face.
"Spare me the lecture, Calc. And if you don't, I'll order you."
"But that was..."
"I know it was really stupid. But I learned a few things. Things that may save my life next time."
Nick looked confused. "Would either of you mind clueing me in? I thought Katze was normal, for the most part."
Katze stared in the distance, suddenly pained. "When the time comes, Nick...it is not yet here."
The next morning. Calc had dropped Nick off in front of his apartment and then drove all night to make the rendezvous with Cyohtee. Katze had slept most of the night, sleeping off some of the adrenaline high that she had gone through in disposing of the bomb.
When Katze woke up, Calc was already maneuvering the mess of freeway entrances and exits that seem to accompany most any city. She watched this process, until Calc got off the freeway and gave Katze her first glimpse of the city of Chicago. It was amazing.
Calc parked the van in a parking lot away from downtown. "Cyo said to meet him here and he'll drive us in." He looked at his watch.
Katze heard him, but didn't. He head was spinning trying to take in this new city, so she followed him right along. This city held a surprise for her, she knew it.
Chicago!
To be continued in "And My Fathers Before Me."